How is it that we are able to heal each other? Who is it in each of us who knows how to heal? In some it becomes a full-blown passion, a life long love affair with the art of healing. In others it is an affair of the moment, surfacing when it is needed. In everyone, it is present at some essential moment. We do not have to be professional healers to know how to heal.

The healing touch and presence

It is felt in the hands of a man on the shoulders of his beloved, easing away her tensions and burdens and reaching down into her heart. In the cool and soothing touch of a mother’s hands on the brow of a fevered child, bringing down the temperature and relaxing the spirit. In the small child at play who will love to give you a five minute massage, a little walk of tiny feet up and down your spine, before moving on to the next entertainment.

Healing arises out of this sense of joy. When there is no joy in the giving the potential for transformation disappears. When the counsellor is repeating a formula learned like a parrot, practicing a technique rather than living it, you soon want to run away instead of opening up to him or to her. When the doctor is more occupied looking at the computer screen than looking at you, you wonder whether your situation is truly being understood. Out of such disconnections errors easily arise.

The same can be true for the natural therapist and also for those of us who simply give a friend a massage once in a while. When we are distracted we cannot give of our best. When you receive a massage you will know very quickly if the masseur or masseuse is actually wondering what’s for dinner, or what the girl friend or boy friend is up to. You wonder where they have gone. You feel the massage is only touching your skin, not reaching and finding a way into the depths of you. The sense of presence in the hands disappears.

Attention is a key and so is presence. When your attention is totally with someone you fall in tune with what they need and the one who is receiving can feel this. Looking inside, you may find a radiant healing energy ready to respond to the situation. We all experience this energy in different ways. Your own way of finding it will be unique and may feel very ordinary. Looking a little deeper, however, you may also become aware that at times you are a channel to a healing force that is beyond yourself. It is as vast as the universe. It must be. If all the energy had to come from you, you would very quickly become depleted.

When we give this attention to another the healing energy is able to move through us. We feel a sense of radiance. So next time you feel drawn to give a friend some of this healing energy, do it! The more you do it, the more easily it flows. In truth, we are not giving it. We are simply creating a bridge for it to flow through.

It is so easy to be scared and to hold back. Often this force is most easily drawn out of us by those we love, or towards whom we feel an attraction. This is simply natural, but it can be misunderstood. Make sure it does feel OK with the one you are offering this gift, and then give it. In the giving you also receive the healing fro yourself.

Touching with your heart

There is one secret key; the pulse beat of the heart. This has remained almost unknown. We are so used to operating only through the mind. When you touch someone, do it through the heart not the mind. You can reach your heart by breathing into it, but the simplest and most effective is to tune into the pulse beat. Wherever you are touching your friend, become aware of what you are feeling under your hands. There will be warmth or coolness, tension or relaxation, and somewhere there will be a pulse beat. This can be elusive, but when you feel it you will know. When you connect with the pulse you are in the heart, in the loving space where deep transformation can happen.

Start with yourself. Feel the pulse in your own body. It is there, as close to you as your breath, beating deep within you. Feel what you need for healing, where you need healing, and bring your attention to this place. Perhaps you have a sore knee. Once the attention is there bring your hands to the spot. Feel deeply into it, feel the pulse in the knee and deep within you. Wait till you feel some heat, or strong sensation. And treat this as an experiment. No need to expect anything. Just wait and see what happens to the pain.

It may seem difficult to work with another in this way. Is it? Actually, it is the only way. The key is staying present to oneself. In any relationship one is lost when the focus is on the other rather than on oneself. Keep coming back into your own body and feeling whatever is present here and now. What a relaxation it is when one realises that one does not have to have all the answers. One can let go and allow existence to do its part. It is a little scary. Often we are just too busy wanting to get it right. When we are too much focused on getting things right we can try to force them along. Rather than creating harmony we may push things apart. There is a beautiful story I have heard of the great Sufi mystic Farid. A king came to see him and to ask his blessings. He brought to Farid’s tent a present, a beautiful pair of golden scissors. Farid took the scissors and looked at them for a while. He thanked the king and gave them back. Farid said, “These I cannot use, a needle would have been better.” The king did not understand. He thought surely if you can use a needle, you will need scissors too. Farid told him that a needle puts things together while scissors cut things apart. He explained that he was working with love, bringing people together and teaching them to be in harmony. Farid’s work was to bring his disciples to awakening, the deepest kind of healing.

Concluding thoughts

Healing is such a simple thing, and most problems manifest at first in simple ways. The moment to take care of any kind of dis-ease is when it first appears. Tuning into your own body and the bodies of your friends is not an esoteric ability; it is something so natural to us that we don’t even notice when we are doing it. Encourage this ability, enhance it, and enjoy it!